I was 33 when I was finally baptized. I deliberately say “finally” because I felt like I had been on some kind of mission for years to fully believe that God existed. I suffered all of my life with trying to understand Him. There was a lot of disappointment, anger, hurt and needless suffering in my childhood and as I had grown older, I had also grown more and more bitter about it all. I struggled with loving – a majority of that struggle was with loving myself. I couldn’t understand why my life had gone through all of this. For all of the pain that I experienced, I always prayed to let there be a reason for it. Please, let it be worth it.
I was 25 when I had my first big gift from Him; a gift that was undeniably the work of His hands. It changed my heart and it was then that I really started to see Him. I started to notice the gifts more and more. I started to seek to understand Him more and more. And then one day, I finally decided He had given me enough. I was ready to give my heart to Him. And so I did.
“I can finally see that you’ve got me; you’ve got me and I‘m holding on. I’m holding on dear Lord with all of me because I can see you make all things beautiful. My heart and soul will always seek you and wherever you take me, I will trust. “
I hope to live a life that speaks in the same way Jesus showed us how to live, think, act and be. Thanks be to God for all love and grace.